When considering an abstinence-based approach to recovery from addiction, individuals may often feel beset with anxiety, and numerous questions may swirl around in their minds.

This is entirely understandable. Giving up and letting go will be one of the hardest challenges for anyone, especially for those struggling with addiction. If you have had a psycho-physiologically dependent attachment to a substance or behavior for some time, the prospect of giving it up—despite the harm it has caused you and those close to you—may fill you with fear or even dread.

It is the fear of the unknown. It is the fear of what will fill the space currently occupied by addiction-related activities in all its dimensions. It is the fear about identity and how you will cope, even though there is abundant evidence that you are not currently coping, which may have led you to seek help from a place like Westchester Foundation in the first place.

Very often, individuals would like to reserve the possibility of using the substance or engaging in the behavior at some point in the future. This serves as a kind of emotional insurance policy, a comforting thought to hold onto.

Thus, we hear anxiety-fueled questions such as, “Are you telling me I can never/will never be able to drink or use again?”

The first thing to clarify is that we will not tell anyone not to do this or that when they leave our care. They will always have a choice to exercise. Our aim will be to ensure that the choices they make are thoroughly informed by a greatly improved understanding of addiction and recovery.

We will encourage them to examine the effects and consequences of their past actions and see what conclusions can be drawn to help keep themselves safe and develop a fulfilling future.

We will aim for them to recognize how addiction seeks to undermine recovery at every turn. This can often be seen in thoughts that emerge, seemingly innocent in nature but with malign intent. Addiction would much rather individuals waste their precious time on such questions than focus on saving their lives.

The question quoted above will need to be viewed in a different light. With the right kind of support, individuals will be guided to understand how they might approach recovery in a way that serves them better.

We may invite them to shift their focus away from “not doing” and onto the creative and positive endeavor of building a solid foundation for their recovery.

We might suggest that they let go of the concern about whether they can ever engage in a particular behavior again in the future and, each day while they are with us, commit to abstinence “just for today.” They can see what this experience is like and talk to others about it, allowing them to experience the benefits firsthand as the days accumulate almost without being noticed.

As recovery gains momentum, many people find that the aforementioned question no longer holds relevance, and they see grappling with it as a distraction from their recovery journey.

It will come as a great relief to let go of the struggle to hold onto something that is destroying them. They will gain a sense of freedom.